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#140312 - 02/04/08 11:02 PM Re: sex, hitting on strangers and other stuff [Re: katebcca]
orchid Offline


Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 3675
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
Quote:

I don't agree either but from a single person's point of view it depends where and how you meet them.

There are many men out there that only want one thing. There are also men who are looking for a nice relationship but they are not easy to find.

To find the not so great ones, just go to the single sites and you will see lots of men over 50 who want 30 somethings or under even. They look at the internet like a candy store.

Have you ever looked at the women looking for men area though? I did and I have never seen so many woman dressed really provocative. It blew me away. Half naked some of them. So, it's not only the men.

There are some decent guys out there but they are hiding. They are not on single sites or going to single dances because they are not desperate. I think the best way to meet a decent guy is through friends or doing some activity you love.

I have been on my own for 12 years now, am currently dating someone from my past but.....I have not met many men over the years. The good ones are either taken or really hard to find.
Kate




I would tend to agree that it's safer at least to start with what Kate just suggested " I think the best way to meet a decent guy is through friends or doing some activity you love."

It actually puzzles me abit why people go to bars and dance clubs in hopes to meet the love of their life. I was never comfortable in those situations and for the most part, avoided such places unless I went with a group of friends to expressly have fun --without any intention of meeting someone new.

Sometimes... In some of sports related activities and volunteer organizations, one can meet some people where at least you and guy share a passion...interest..if your relationship doesn't get off the ground any further than friendship.

I do know a number of single guys in their 40's and up who are cyclists. These guys don't do drugs, alcohol..etc. and they give back to their community. Many of these guys are conscious about what they eat, they cook their own meals because they want to stay healthy, etc. So it depends, where you meet people....

2 of my sisters, each met their hubby via running clubs..

Rethink about your own health, and try something different to improve your health long-term..and it will bring you to new circle of friends who have similar lifestyles and values.

but yea, this is easier said than done. There is abit of incredible luck and blessing to meet the right love of your life, that you can trust wholeheartedly and for long-term.

_________________________
http://cyclewriteblog.wordpress.com/ (How cycling leads to other types of adventures, thoughts)
http://velourbansism.wordpress.com


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#140313 - 02/05/08 04:33 AM Re: sex, hitting on strangers and other stuff [Re: orchid]
Lola Offline
Member

Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 3703
Loc: London UK
Quote:

I delved a little deeper about the survey and she thought it was done in England. So would that make a difference? Any thoughts from our friends over the pond?





Sorry, it took some time to get to this thread, Dotsie.

There could be some truth to the survey if it relied on stats which shows that the UK bears the highest percentage of unmarried teenage moms in Europe. Whether casual sex has a general bearing on other age groups, as the survey submits, is debatable and refutable.
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#140315 - 02/07/08 04:35 PM Re: sex, hitting on strangers and other stuff [Re: ]
jabber Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 10032
Loc: New York State
IMO the mores are different across the pond. I was in Italy in 1993, however. Unless it has changed since then, the females there had a lot of fun in those nightclubs. And I'm with Chatty; I think the majority of men have one-track minds. Even the good guys that I know, think about sex most of the time. At least that's what I'm told, by those upstanding, pillar-of-the-community citizens. I've never been to England. But I'd bet, anything goes.

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#140316 - 02/07/08 05:03 PM Re: sex, hitting on strangers and other stuff [Re: jabber]
Lola Offline
Member

Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 3703
Loc: London UK
Quote:

IMO the mores are different across the pond.




How is it different, Jabber? And would it have any relation to "anything goes"?

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#140317 - 02/07/08 06:46 PM Re: sex, hitting on strangers and other stuff [Re: Lola]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Different in what way Jabber? One of the phone sex services we spoke to when doing 'phone fantasy' was in England and another in Ireland. Those men were 'NO' different, (except harder to understand their terminology) than the American males. Sexaholics everyone as if there was no pond separating them!!!!


Edited by chatty lady (02/07/08 06:48 PM)
_________________________
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http://charleen-micheles.blogspot.com/


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#140318 - 02/08/08 11:11 AM Re: sex, hitting on strangers and other stuff [Re: chatty lady]
jabber Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 10032
Loc: New York State
I refer to [Working in the European Sex Industry] as backup to what I observed when in the countries of Holland and Italy. On page 2 of 8, L. Agustin writes in "The Sex Market," after a long list what the European sex idustry includes, ends that paragraph with [It should be clear, then, that what exists is not 'Prostitution' but a great variety of different sex jobs.] I could be wrong but I saw more openly displayed love making there, than what we have here. But remember I don't live in Vegas. And Grandma always said, "People 'round here wouldn't say s*&t if they had a mouth full." Don't blame me. That's what my sweet, cute, little grandmother said.

And I see that that www.simw.org/engver.html is not about homegrown Europeans but transnational migrants. It sounds like restless "sex workers" keep moving from one country to the next? I don't know. I'm no expert. But I saw more openness there, as far as smooching and making-out! LOL...I don't give a rip. No brag. Just fact.

And oh, I forgot to tell you about the XXX rated movies on local TV. Gosh...I had my son with me. That was embarrassing!


Edited by jabber (02/08/08 11:29 AM)

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#140319 - 02/08/08 12:26 PM Re: sex, hitting on strangers and other stuff [Re: jabber]
humlan Offline


Registered: 04/15/07
Posts: 1341
Loc: Sweden
OOOOO, ladies! "All men are pigs"! You got me there! If I am to be totally honest, I haven´t been a sweet cherub all of my life..most of my life. I have played around both in and out of marriage..if I am to say it as it is/was. I have learned my lesson..but it has taken some years. So, the question might be..are we women not pigs also? Maybe most of you aren´t here..and it would seem so. This makes me even more humbled..but, I do repeat that I have learned my lesson.

I have 2 sons, one will soon be 28 and the other is 18. They have both been so hurt by the female sex. They themselves have been honest and trusting..with respect for the woman they have been with.

My husband trusted me on this issue. My present day partner trusts me also..and he will not be disapponted..because I have learned a thing or two during my long years on this earth..finally.

Are we, as the female sex, so wonderful ourselves..on the whole..I wonder..?

However, I must add that I personally think, religion has a big part in the guilt feelings or judgement of sex or lovemaking. Yes, I live in Sweden, where these sexual issues are not of the kind discussed here. And, I am relieved about that..now, at my age. This is not to say that faithfulness is not important..but it depends on the relationship and the people involved in it. What their understanding is..between themselves.

I talk quite openly with my sons about their sexual/love lives. Yes, we do talk details and I think this is very very important..especially when they are younger. Particularly because of condoms that break, the danger of aids or other venerial diseases. Also to perhaps discuss with them how a woman feels certain things during the act..what can make her happy and satisfied. Men care about these things, too. Or at least, that is my experience.

Isn´t it ok to smooch and touch in public? I love to see couples showing their love/passion..especially in the spring . It makes me smile..gives me hope and makes me "glad all over".

Sex/the mating game..or whatever you want to call it..is so NATURAL!!! I mean every living thing does it..one way or another..otherwise it´s not classified as a living thing..and it´s essential to survival. It´s a great experience..very goodfor your health..and produces many pleasure giving and relaxing enzymes. So why do we have to put so many labels on things??

Men have their type of sex drive and we, women, have ours. And the scale from there is soooo filled with differences and nyanses. I, for example, a woman, don´t really like forplay and I am not a fan of cozy, gentle sex. Does that make me an anamoly? NO!!!!! I think there are soooo many different ways of expressing our bodily needs and wants..male or female.

Yes, I have exprienced sexual abuse also, during my younger years..by other men...so I don´t think I have my head in the clouds. But there is alot of beauty out there..and many men that can and will help create it...

well, it´s just my thoughts on "sex, hitting on strangers and other stuff". I have had sex on the first meeting at times because I think sex/making love is an expression of something..and it can be the expression of deeping understanding and connectiing..mutual enjoyment.

PS. we have those tv channels here too. I mean..I can choose to see them or not. Sometimes I do choose to watch because what they are showing is actually ok for me..gets me going..yes, even quite beautiful at times.. and I don`t know,relaxes me. My sons..well, let´s face it..they have the entire internet at their disposal..and the stuff there is from very cute to very very sick. Do we sometimes see something together there? Yes, again because I want to know what they are into..especially my 18 yr old..and what their reaction is to it. It´s out there, I know that. I can´t close my eyes to that fact. I also mulitply what my 18yr old shows me by a large number because that is probably the reality of what he has come across at some point.
_________________________
"some sacred place.."

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#140320 - 02/08/08 12:56 PM Re: sex, hitting on strangers and other stuff [Re: humlan]
ladyjane Offline


Registered: 08/22/07
Posts: 1761
Loc: Southern Maine, USA
Humlan, I will say one thing to what you've said. Women are or can be just as guilty as the next one...if guilty is even a good word to use here, maybe not. I, too, know a lot of very good men who have been horribly abused in one form or another by women. As part of the human race, both sexes have choices and they're not always good ones.
_________________________
If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane ~ Jimmy Buffett

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#140321 - 02/08/08 01:29 PM Re: sex, hitting on strangers and other stuff [Re: ladyjane]
humlan Offline


Registered: 04/15/07
Posts: 1341
Loc: Sweden
thanks...hope i didn´t overdo anything..wasn´t my meaning..to overdo anything..just to think aloud as usual..


Edited by humlan (02/08/08 01:39 PM)
_________________________
"some sacred place.."

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#140322 - 02/08/08 01:48 PM Re: sex, hitting on strangers and other stuff [Re: humlan]
ladyjane Offline


Registered: 08/22/07
Posts: 1761
Loc: Southern Maine, USA
Humlan, no way did you over do!!! Your response was well thought out, very honest and from your heart. Sometimes I get on here and think I'm just rambling....and sometimes (MOST times) that's okay. That's why we're here sometimes...thinking out loud is sometimes the best way to express yourself.
_________________________
If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane ~ Jimmy Buffett

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