I'm going to be a bit different here too. I agree totally with Chatty! Ditto to what she said!

I had a wonderful divorce. I mean that. When I got divorced, we were still friends so it was a bittersweet thing and we had seen so many friends fight it out that we were not going that way! We were respectful of one another and did not act like animals.

I think the secret to our wonderful divorce was honesty. I was completely, completely honest with him. I told him I wanted honesty from him and I beared up and took his honesty and listened. I learned all about his feelings, discussed them with him and he listened to mine. We had a one and a half year old son!

He was a bit in love with me but knew we were not exactly compatable. I knew that I could not be myself and happy with him at that time in my life. I told him that maybe another time and another place, who knows?

Like you, Sue, we did not have much in common. I was a professional dancer, he was a pro golfer. Those are very different lives. A dancer is a gypsy and a jazz master like myself is full of life and always ready to try new things in life. A dancer doesn't care if she drives and if she does, she may drive some kind of motorcycle like I did. A golfer drives a Lexus as he did, LOL. We just didn't match.

We loved out son completely too. We BOTH loved our son and had married to get pregnant. We promised to share him and never get petty and we did this in a church! We went to the church where we got married and told each other that we would never stoop to underhanded tactics and would love each other as friends NO MATTER WHAT. And we did. We still do.

Our son is 20, and I can call him tonight and borrow a cup of sugar! Sure, it hurt here and there when I remarried or when he would have a girlfriend, and we would compare lives and such, but we got together and TALKED at those times until we talked it out!

Strange, I know, but my parents had an excellent divorce as well. My fathers new wife would take my mother places from time to time and had complete compassion for her!

A divorce can be not so bad if you can RETURN to those feelings that made you get married and divorce from THOSE feelings, not the bad feelings you have now.

If he is not right for you, Chatty is right. Never make a mistake and stick with it. But try, just try, to do a divorce with the kid gloves on, it just might work for you too!

dancer, strange.