In the midst of all the hurt, sadness and anger, I just have to mention one small (and it might seem insignificant to you, but not to us here) silver lining - this whole disastrous event led you here to us - and those of us who have been here for awhile KNOW that nobody stumbles in here by accident. Every voice has its wisdom, and I dare to say that God knows that we need YOUR voice here. I don't minimize the pain in any way (anyone who knows me here knows that I know pain!), but just add a wee shred of silver lining into the mix...

Welcome to BWS, Artlady...though the circumstances that led you to us were sad and painful, we're glad you're here.
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When you don't like a thing, change it.
If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

(Maya Angelou)