Yeah, I tend to think your hubby has some major issue going on. Maybe he feels like he can't perform and is afraid to take a chance.

Have you communicated with him about this in a sane conversation? Does he really know how you feel? Have you written him a letter to share your emotions and how important this is to you? Maybe you could take a nice little mini vacation to get away from whatever may stress him at home?

I wouldn't give up. You sound very healthy about your needs and addressing them. I think sharing this with us was a big step. However, I would leave the ex out of it. Try to focus on making things right with your hubby. I'll be praying for a nice heart to heart conversation about the issue. At least, then, he will know exactly where you stand.