Danita, you go girl!! It's so hard when you are faced with something you didn't want or ask for...when the first wedding anniversary without my husband came around I went shopping with a friend and bought a lovely top for myself...we had a great day and I made a new memory for that calendar date! (Funnily enough I was wearing that same top when I kissed my new husband for the first time!) Isn't that funny?? Well done Danita for having a great positive outlook! Hugs to ya!

You got it countrygirl.

I'm surprised at how good I felt on that day ---- I feel lately like I've been on an emotional roller coaster, even though it's been a year.

My guy and I went to see one of my favorite Christian artists in concert - my dear daughter and I had seen him back in Feb. this year (the performer)....there's a part in the concert where they pray for people who are struggling - back in FEB., my daughter and I just wept like babies.

This time, I wept, but I was weeping for those going through hard times - not so much for myself.

I think sometimes when I look forward, and I see the "uncertain" future....I get scared and sad.....

but the concert made me look BACK to see how far I've come in just a few months really. THAT was an eye opener.

Thanks everyone for the encouragement.

hugs back at ya!

danita

Danita, I adore your spirit.

The day my divorce was final I went out to a show and then to a lavish dinner and then home alone and just walked around my home laughing, and NOT missing all the mess and clutter. It was a most magical day!! Sometimes I still can't believe I have no schedules, no boss, no stress (hardly none) no ones laundry to do, no one to cook for, no ones nauseating opinions to worry about...and so on and so on...Best time of my life!!!!

Hey Chatty,
Those darn divorces: first you grieve; then you celebrate!
I hear what you're saying; no boss and no one to dictate what you can do and what you can't do! Perhaps that's why America has so many single ladies, these days!!!!

Thats what I keep telling Anne.

I know exactly what you are talking about. I've been divorced for 10 years. I still do the heart break scene sometimes, and usually during the holidays.

However, I don't think it's because I want THAT marriage back. It's because I work retail and get so totally exhausted that I MISS the family life.

THIS YEAR I have decided to do something differently that ever before. I am not going to put up a Christmas tree any more. I really don't have room for one and it is no fun with no one to enjoy it. My tastes have changed. I now collect Nativities. My newest addition to the collection is one that you can actually see in my on line store. (Go to the eCatalog www.sunshinehugs.com and look on page 372. It is so cute and very hard to see in the picture. The little guy on the right has sunglasses on. And the little shepard has an ice cream cone.)

I decided that this little Nativity brings me great joy and laughter. My main Nativity has all of the animals (that I can find in the right size) coming to pay homage to baby Jesus.

So, I guess what I'm saying is that we need to bless ourselves with laughter and joy. I agree with Danita that wee need to just 'let it out'. The worst thing we can do is try to keep feelings trapped. That is like a pressure cooker waiting to explode.

Thank you all my new BWS friends. You are already a great source of comfort.

I realize this can be a very depressing time of year so if you need some help you can post a prayer request on my prayer line. Just email me or go to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/iprayers.

Joan
God's Little Pencil

Joan, I like your idea of collecting nativities. It's much simpler and more meaningful than trees with all the decorations.

In a couple weeks, we'll be placing a nativity scene on our front lawn. Ross places it under a tree that is loaded with white lights. Then we place a spotlight on the manger. I love the statement it makes this time of year. No Santas on this lawn, not that we don't love Santa and commercialize Christmas, because we certainly do, but I like the idea of focusing on the true meaning of Christmas when we can.

It's fun having you aboard. I hope you'll stick around.

Hi everyone,

Thought I would post an update.

I think I've been taken a little by surprise how hard the holiday would be on me this year. This is the first year in 18 years that I haven't celebrated Christmas with my children.

I was watching Mark (my guy) with his son decorate the Christmas tree - and had to keep going to the bathroom to cry. Austin looked at me (he's 8) at one point and said, "Danita, are you ok? Your eyes are purple". How cute. I was desperate to leave the house - to go get my nails done - but just hung in there for our "family day".

Since then, I'm doing better. I guess because I know now to expect it.

Got to see my beautiful 18 year old daughter this week. She just moved to a new apartment (with her boyfriend). Mark and I were driving by her town to go to a meeting - so I brought her a HUGE basket of house-warming goodies. She was so tickled. I love that girl. She is a mirror of me. She introduced me to a friend and said, "this is what I'm going to look like when I grow up". Is that precious or what?

Went to court with my ex last week. He filed a motion to change child support and maintenance. God has given me an INCREDIBLE woman attorney (who is affordable). He was totally unprepared (and had no attorney), kept trying to slander me (and the court facilitator kept stopping him)...and the long and short of it is - because we could not agree on anything - we go before a judge in March. He was EXTREMELY frustrated because he believed by slandering me and telling the court it was time I start taking care of myself - that he was going to be able to get out of paying maintenance (it's only been a year).

He looks like hell. Literally. He wears his guilt on his face.

The downside of the meeting is that of course he dragged (is that a word) my son into it. He has been airing his side of the story quite liberally (he IS the victim, don't you know).

So, my first instinct knowing that my 16 year old son somehow sees ME as the bad guy - is to walk away from my relationship with him. But the intuitive side says, "stay in the game - keep loving him from afar - some day it will pay off".

This has gotten so ugly.

Anywho. Life goes on.

God is good, HE is able, and HE is enough.

I take it one day at a time, one moment at a time...and the good Lord has seen fit to put incredible women into my life, who have lifted me up, and helped me to stay in the game.

Thank you ladies, for being there!

Thankful hugs,

danita

Danita, if I may offer some advice. NO matter what else occurs keep your love strong for and with your son. He is merely 16 and under his fathers self pity bull sh// right now. Be sweeter than ever to him, the son, no matter what, and eventually he will not only remember what you always were but what you still are and he will come back to you with love, sorrow for straying and admration. Boys are usually momma's boys anyway.