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#128889 - 04/15/08 08:17 AM
Re: Grieving...the loss of the marriage & family
[Re: Eagle Heart]
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Registered: 08/22/07
Posts: 1761
Loc: Southern Maine, USA
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I've always called these "triggers." Everyone gets them once in awhile and usually one is caught off guard completely. I don't think it will ever be any different. As we age, more happens, more people leave us and on and on. We tend to widen our memory file more and more. We miss more people, pets and places. We become huge memory banks and I believe it tenderizes our hearts more with each loss....therefore, all the more triggers. yeah, count me in as a sap, too, if that's what I am. There are certain things that if I see, hear or smell take me back to precious memories of someone or something, particularly music that my big bro and I shared, or flowers that Mom loved or a place that I devoted my life with my ex-husband. All of it stings but can be beautiful if looked at in the right way.
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If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane ~ Jimmy Buffett
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#128891 - 04/19/08 07:35 AM
Re: Grieving...the loss of the marriage & family
[Re: chatty lady]
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Registered: 08/22/07
Posts: 1761
Loc: Southern Maine, USA
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Chatty, one thing I do know is that, with age, I've become even more weepy and often it's over something that comes along suddenly. Unfortunately, it's often when I'm out and least expect it. It's hard to try to stop it when it comes on like that. So people probably think I'm crazy, too. But it happens to everyone.
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If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane ~ Jimmy Buffett
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#128893 - 04/19/08 01:39 PM
Re: Grieving...the loss of the marriage & family
[Re: ladyjane]
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Registered: 04/15/07
Posts: 1341
Loc: Sweden
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Yes Chattylady and LJ..I second that..lots more weepy with age..in other words a SAP, jabber!!! Gosh it´s great to hear that this happens to you guys,too. I hate it,too,when it happens sort of unforewarned. I try to bite back the tears..but that doesn´t always work..and I am saying to myself..what a wimp you are, old lady! But perhaps it´s an asset of a sort..because perhaps these felings can be kind of used on those around us..I mean, that perhaps we have more understanding and compassion than we had before?? I just hope that we also have it for ourselves..that´s important,too, I find..when I think over my life and try to realize that I did my best..eventho it didn´t maybe seem that way at the time...
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"some sacred place.."
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#128894 - 04/19/08 02:24 PM
Re: Grieving...the loss of the marriage & family
[Re: humlan]
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Member
Registered: 09/26/04
Posts: 3910
Loc: Alabama
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When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure. Treasures make our hearts of gold break and our eyes well with crystal tears. It is an asset to have fond and loving memories, to know what once was.
When someone you know is hurting, you feel their pain. You have knowledge of what it can feel to be broken. Pain will bring tears of hurt.
When someone you know is joyous, you feel their joy. You have knowledge of happiness. Happiness will bring tears of joy.
Never get too old or unconditioned to be a sap for much will be lost in humanity.
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chick ~ Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't ~ ~ Prayer is the most we can do for another human being ~
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#128897 - 04/19/08 04:36 PM
Re: Grieving...the loss of the marriage & family
[Re: chickadee]
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Registered: 04/15/07
Posts: 1341
Loc: Sweden
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Chick..thank you..that is beautiful. Yes..our joys and our pain make us stronger..but also more vulnerable..because we can feel what others feel..but perhaps in that vulnerability..we meet very closely..for awhile..hmm..thank you!
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"some sacred place.."
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#128899 - 04/21/08 11:36 PM
Re: Grieving...the loss of the marriage & family
[Re: yonuh]
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Member
Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
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My nephew lived and died at 17 in Pennsylvania. He had never been to Colorado Springs, where I live. Colorado Springs is unique in that everywhere you go you see Pike's Peak, the 14,000 foot high mountain that inspired "America the Beautiful, oh beautiful for spacious skies." Although I missed much of my nephew's childhood due to estrangement from my brother, his father, I always held my nephew in my heart because he was joyful and enthusiastic. Anyway, for some strange reason, whenever I get on a certain stretch of road, I look at the mountain and I say "Hi Jeff." Is it that the mountain stretching toward the sky makes me think of heavenward? I dojn't know. This mountain, the road, was never associated with Jeff while he was alive, but I remember him each morning with that scene.
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