Kate, I can really empathize with what you are feeling right now. It is so difficult to be a family member of an addict. I know how it feels to trust and then have that trust violated, and I so know that 'kicked in the stomach' feeling! All I can offer is that I know you are struggling with what to do for your son; all you can really do at this point is take care of yourself and the family you have with you. As hard as it is, you have to let go of your son and let him succeed or fail on his own. Addiction is such a horrible affliction for the addicts and those who are close to them. Some addicts do recover and live productive lives; others don't - that's the nature of the beast. My heart goes out to you, Kate, so take care of yourself.