It wouldn't be so bad if it was just pot (not that I condone any drugs) but crack is his drug of choice and smoking pot just makes him crave crack. He has been very honest with me about his drug use.

I think he will do fine although his road is a difficult one. He has some good support with the church close by and he has made contact with the pastor and others from the church.

This time around he has others to count on besides an overwhelmed burnt out Mom. I can't help him, only enable him and that is not what he needs. He needs these people (especially former addicts) to help him through this. He has been told and it's true, not to take advice from people who don't have experience with addictions.

I believe he is in a good place and that is comforting.
Kate

O, I see, Katebcca, I know how awful the addiction to crack is. I've seen many a musician move from cocaine to crack when things get bad! It's the absolute easiest thing to get your hands on next to meth! I'm sorry he is into this.

You are right though, he is in a good place and you, certainly, cannot speak to a crack user! To speak that language one must either have used or have intense training in how to handle a user! It's a bad drug and one that should not have been invented. It started to get "hits," out to those who could not afford other drugs and it worked! The crack houses are so horrible.

I hope he hangs on, I really do. I'm proud and glad to hear your talk about it because you have yourself in the right place. I will keep you and he in my thoughts.

dancer

Kate, you spirit is refreshing. Three cheers for not letting him come home. I can't imagine what that feels like for you, but you definitely did the right thing for all of you.

I am sorry to hear about this slip, but perhaps it's another step in the journey towards sobriety. I'll continue to pray for him and you, and your younger kids.

This is taken from www.childlost.blogspot.com

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

I need to accept the things I cannot control. I cannot control the behaviors of others. I cannot change the past. It is time to let go and let God handle it. It is time to give up the control. It is time to live in the present, to let go of yesterday and to not project about tomorrow. By accepting the things I cannot change, I give up the anger, the anxiety, the frustration, the depression, the sorrow, the pain.

Courage to change the things I can.

I can control certain aspects of my life. I can change the way I think, my attitude, to act instead of react. By accepting the things I can change, I can focus on myself. I can set goals. I can develop self-love, self-acceptance. I can live my life as it is suppose to be lived.

And wisdom to know the difference.

Probably the most difficult thing to learn in recovery is acquiring the wisdom to know the difference between what can not be changed and what can be changed. A question I ask myself is "Can I change this situation"? Answering this question when presented with a dilemma is gaining the wisdom to know whether or not I can do something. It allows me to set boundaries, avoid self-destructive impulses, deal with the day. Most importantly, it presents me with the opportunity to live a balance life.

I hope this helps.

Thanks Dotsie.
It does help.
I've printed it out.
Kate

Oh good. Happy to help.

Kate, I'm sorry your son relapsed and love your attitude. You are so brave with the situation, and maintaining your hope that things will continue to get better.

It is difficult for addicts in this society -- so true. They usually don't get the education they need to succeed because they skip their teenage years. And pot is rampent in construction and in the restaurant business -- two places that will hire these kids. If they have a record of any kind, they can't get certain other types of jobs, either. (I hate how a felony follows a person forever, but that's a different soap box.)

Do you think he would be willing to think about furthering his education? The path isn't closed to him, just would take some effort. Then again, he might have his hands full with recovery.

Dotsie, I love the serenity prayer -- and this interpretation is great!

My son was released from the hospital and asked to come home for a few days on his way to yet another treatment centre. I checked it out and learned that it was set up.

Even though he has been to six treatment centres, he
convinced me that he had learned his lesson and that he is going to make it work this time. We have had a nice visit this week with basically no problems. He has stayed in the house the entire time and only goes out with me. I drove him to the necessary appointments to set up the treatment centre yet again. I drove him to get his medical tests done at the doctors, all the necessary things that need to be done before being accepted into treatment. Of course I took two days off of work to do this.

I was assured by the treatment centre that they would have a bed for him in approx. 1 week. This happened and I was pleased although concerned that he continues to relapse after every stay at a treatment centre.

All was fine until he got a phone call from his old friend, druggy friend that is. This guy and him have been friends since they were both 15. The only difference between them is that his friend is not an addict. He works, and has kept a job for years but is a big partier. They met at an alternative school and have gotten into alot of trouble over the years, in and out of youth jail. My son went on to go to adult jail more than a few times, his friend stopped at youth jail.

Anyway, my son told me this time around he would not contact him as he knows that he would relapse again if he sees him. He realized that it would not be a good thing as his friend does drugs and drinks a fair bit.

Well, he got a call from this friend and he has moved away (about 6 hours away) has a great job and rents a place with a bunch of guys.

He asked my son if he wanted to visit and sent him a return ticket. I could not believe that my son would even consider it and told him so but he said he was going anyway. He has a return ticket to the city that the treatment centre is in and plans to go there as planned on Tuesday.

The problem, if you have used drugs within five days of going to the treatment centre you will be turned away. They test your urine when you are checked in. You have to be clean for five days.

I am 100% positive that my son will have a weekend full of drugs and alcohol and will be turned away.

I explained that to him that if he is turned away he is basically homeless and asked him if his weekend away is worth it.

I can't believe that he is doing this. He has had do much support from the church, AA and me. So many people have gone out of their way to help him. We gave our all, and he has now chosen to go with his friend. I told him he is not a true friend or he would encourage him to stay clean and go to treatment, not invite him to come for the weekend and get high. He knows my son is an addict. The sad part is if my son does become homeless, his friend won't let him stay with him.

I've had it. I will not let him come home again to live, between treatment centres or not. I have had years of this.
No more, I'm done.
Kate

My heart goes out to you, kate. Your heart must be heavy..

Kate, is there any way you can contact this so called friend of your son? If you could visit him and give him your piece of mind face to face, maybe you can convince him never ever to call your son again. Wish there was an island where you could plant your son in the middle of it. He would have to live there for at least three years, and be bombarded with healthy foods, healthy motivating talks, and experience a rebirth.
Whatever. Dear Kate....you have done all you can do. It's good that you are ready to let go. Yes, let go and concentrate on your two other children.

Kate
I am thinking and praying for you.
Mountain ash