Hi Kate, what you went through! I do not know how you coped and are sane. You are describing one of the worst situations I've heard. Sorry, that must not make you feel better. But you were in danger, he was destructive, and he could have suffocated on vomit in his passed out condition. On the up side, you are in a better relationship with him, and he is trying. By the way, the woman who changed my life when I was his age was Mormon. She did not try to convert me. She had a demeanor of peace that I'd never seen before. Go figure. L, PL