Oh Kate, I'm so very, very happy to hear this news and I will continue to remember him in thought and prayer. Yippee!

Christmas went well although I missed my Dad. It is a blessing though that my son is now doing wonderful and made Christmas special this year just by being himself.
We had a great time together. He is such a great kid (23) when he is not on drugs.
He now has a job at a recycling plant and had to leave yesterday so he could get back to his town so he could be at work today.
Such a relief.
Kate

Kate, what wonderful news! It sounds like, in spite of your recent loss, that your Christmas was special because you had/have your son back. I will continue to pray that he just keeps getting stronger and your relationship continues to mend. Thanks for checking in and letting us know! Bless you!

Kate, I forgot to ask....what has happened with the pregnant girlfriend you spoke of earlier?

Kate, I'm so happy for you! It's such a relief. I don't think I knew how much weight I was carrying until my son got clean and sober. (Now if I could just get rid of the body weight -- LOL!)

Katebcca!!!
I am SO, SO happy for you! How wonderful does it get! I know how much that must have meant to you because I know how much I love my son. It's SO great that you have him back and have a start that you can make. Not to mention the wonderful memories you have created!

Also: Congratulations on a job well done as a mother! It is so easy to "blow it," when kids mess up and cut ourselves off entirely so that the relationship cannot heal. YOU didn't do that! You are a great Mom! You apparently hung in there and it paid off. Parents could learn from you as to how to handle their children in such a situation! You must consider writing down your experience even in an essay to help other parents before they mess things up or loose their child forever.

I'm so proud of you and happy for you too!
Dancer, just learned of this!

Kate, thanks for sharing the great news. I'm sure he feels so much better about himself which is a huge aspect of recovery. Congrats on hanging in there and using tough love. I recall how hard it was for you, but it looks like he got the message. I'm sure you're breathing a huge sigh of relief.

Answers to two questions, the pregnant girlfriend, Thank God that was a false alarm. Scared my son right out of the relationship. It was doomed from the beginning, two addicts do not make a great couple, when one falls off the wagon they both fall. I do think he learned so much from this situation though, an invaluable lesson. He regretted it shortly after moving in with her only knowing her for a few weeks. Like attracts like. Unhealthy attracts unhealthy.

He learned real quick that it was a mistake and tried to get out of it. He complained about her spending all of her welfare money on a hair straigtener and said she spent all her time looking in the mirror. I had a chuckle, we both did when I said, "might have been a good idea to have found that out before you moved in" (gentle hint). I said it in a funny way so he didn't take offence.

Even in all of his drugged out states he still continues to share with me. Now he shares all the time, what he is feeling, things that happen to him, even his weaknesses. I think he felt that I was judging him before. I explained to him one day how hard it is to watch your son continue to shoot himself in the foot. I also told him some of my mistakes (not all) and he appreciated that. It's important for parents to let your kids know that you aren't even close to perfect. Sometimes they think we are and try so hard to live up to that, then they think they are failures and give up. I did that with my Mom. I never felt I was good enough as she always acted like she was perfect, never did anything wrong, her friends never did anything wrong etc. etc. It is so important to let your kids know that you understand and have been there and are not judging. Has to be the right time though. (not a good idea to tell them too much especially at a young age)

As for the book, essay. I so plan to write something some day. Even have my son write the forward. When I was going through this I felt so alone. It took me ages to go to a parenting group thinking that my child was the worst. It turned out that he was far from the worst. I could never find anything at the book store with info on acting out kids. The worst was stealing and lying. Man, that didn't even come close to the info I was needing. I'd love to help others and plan too.
Kate

kate, there's nothing more attractive to me than a man who shares his feelings. He'll make a great husband one day. Me thinks!

Sounds like he's growing up...you've been a wonderful Mother and should be very proud how you're handling this. HUG HUG HUG