Kate, Starting Over, and Casey have this heart ache in common. Kate, your son is the drugs, no wonder you are grieving, you don't have the son you thought you had. He is all about drugs, and lying is a part of the pathology. How awful it is to have drugs rule your life and emotions. An addict is so narcissistic. And the ripple effect is enough to drive a mother crazy. Yes, that is very sad. At least you know to create boundaries to protect yourself. I know from experience and education that when people meet in rehab, it is never a good thing. Rarely does "the couple" form a lasting and healthy relationship. The military? There is no way that an addict such as Kate describes could committ to the military.