Amen sisters! I actually look at my dad's photo on my frig and say things like "damn you daddy why aren't you here now?" And Eagle, you are right, it takes much more energy to ignore and deny something than it ever would to just go with the flow and scream or cry or grieve. Burying things takes a ton of psychic energy! Crying is much better for us and when you tell someone why, they'll usually sit down, tell you their own tale of loss and join you for a cathartic boo hoo!