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#117877 - 05/19/07 11:59 AM
Re: Celebrating Father's Day Without Him
[Re: TVC15]
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Member
Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
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Quote:
It's difficult right now because last year, this time, I was there caring for him. I just need to get through a couple more months and then I think I might be better able to heal.
Oh those are some of the most difficult moments to get through, thinking back to those times when our loved one was still alive..."this time last week we were doing this together" "this time a month ago he was able to do this" "this time last year he wasn't even sick". Those back-thoughts are unbearable for that first year or so.
It keeps hitting me in the oddest places and thoughts - yesterday I had to mail a parcel at the post office in the card shop. On my way out, I noticed a beautiful 2008 calendar and immediately thought, "Oh I have to tell Gary that that's the one I'd like for next Christmas" - Gary has been the calendar provider for everyone in the family for over 10 years now and used to spend a great deal of time and money getting just the right one for each person...he used to buy me two, a pretty one for the kitchen and a weird one for the bathroom. Did it ever hit hard that he'd never buy any of us a calendar again! I couldn't hold back the tears.
But instead of wallowing in the grief of that realization, I've decided that I'm going to go back to buy that calendar (using money that we received from Gary's estate) and wrap it up for myself for next Christmas, in memory of Gary...I just know that he would like me to do that in his name.
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it.
If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
(Maya Angelou)
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#117878 - 05/19/07 01:05 PM
Re: Celebrating Father's Day Without Him
[Re: Eagle Heart]
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Member
Registered: 09/26/04
Posts: 3910
Loc: Alabama
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I am always reading this post girls. I just wanted to say that I have you in my prayers.
_________________________
chick
~ Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't ~
~ Prayer is the most we can do for another human being ~
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#117883 - 05/23/07 04:29 PM
Re: Celebrating Father's Day Without Him
[Re: jawjaw]
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Member
Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
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Oh JJ, my heart is with you today...I have NO DOUBT that your Daddy is very proud of you and of how much you help others in your day-to-day life. I don't know when you "fail sometimes" but I heartily believe that, for me personally, those perceived failures almost always lead to greater wisdom and therefore more light to radiate into others' lives. Your light shines bright - you sparkle up our lives here, and you've touched MY life in more ways than you'll ever know. So I KNOW that your Daddy is very proud and honoured by your life.
Today is Sacred Ground...
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it.
If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
(Maya Angelou)
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