Someone once told me, "You're mother is a piece of work...she's not your piece of work." I can't take responsibility for another's actions and stopped trying a long time ago.

It reminds me of when I was married to the abuser. When we were in a crowd, I always watched myself so he wouldn't go off. In truth, if he did, he would have looked like an idiot, not me, but it took me a long time to understand that. People are going to do what they want to do as long as it works for them. I just step back and watch.
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If it doesn't feel good, don't do it twice.
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Boomer Queen of Shoes