Saundra, I did not know that about the big costly tests. I called my step f to wish him a happy birthday. This was 5 minutes after I'd learned that my husband got fired. I could not hide my sadness in my voice. When my mother got on the phone I could hardly talk, and even in her state she could tell something was wrong. I told my step f that I want to jump in a lake, and he said, "Please don't do that Lynnie. I'm going to need you real soon." Who would have thought that adversaries (he was not so good as a step f) would become allies? The core of my being knows that when there is nothing else, when all else slips through our hands, there is always love. Love is for eternity, even when we did not recognize it on our earthly journey. "It saddens me beyond my tears that love was lost within the fears."