Thanks for acknowledging my apology. My youngest daughter is a drug addict and so many times I've almost lost her. I fully understand the terrible heartbreak of loving someone who has such a serious problem and nothing, no amount of loving them, no amount of sacrifice can make them whole.

Ultimately it is up to them and the one who created them for that transformation to health to take place. As all of you know I used to drive a semi. My husband and I drove together. One evening when we were approaching Oklahoma on a long haul to California, I got a phone call from my middle daughter, Alicia stating through tears, "Mom, you'd better come home fast, Katie has overdosed and they don't expect her to live." Those words fell on me like an iceberg in the cab of that semi miles and miles from where my youngest daughter lay in the hospital with tubes hanging out of her.

I was very ill myself and running a high fever with an upper respiratory illness. I got off the truck in OK, took a cab to the airport shaking with fever and fear, rented a veh and drove non stop all the way to Tampa, FL not knowing if my daughter would be alive or not when I arrived. I would drink coffee and immediately throw it back up. I would pray in the Spirit and plead with God for her life and made so many cell phone calls to the hospital. The admonished me that I'd better get there soon...

She is a beautiful girl with long blonde hair and a certain innocence about her, with big blue eyes and the sweetest smile. When she was just a little tyke we called her Ewok because she was short and stocky with the biggest dark blue eyes.

I had to stop at a hospital emergency room on my way because I couldn't breath and napped in rest areas just so I wouldn't fall asleep while driving.

I finally made it and she lived. I spent the next several days with her but she couldn't wait to get back out to use cocaine again and ghb.

My heart has been broken so many times by her and I've been angry with God and guestioned him, "Why my child? Why my baby? I can't even begin to explain to you from a mother's perspective what type of torture it is to love your child so much that you would gladly take on yourself the pain and anguish that child must go through and let them be well and whole.

Its been a terrible, long journey, I've never been able to let go of Katie. I love her so much. I've since made peace with God. He never wanted my little one to be addicted to drugs. Someday when I see him face to face, I'll ask him why or maybe it won't be important then and I'll just crawl up in his lap and relax.