Oh, Gimster, you are NOT monopolizing this thread and I am so glad that you are asking the tought questions.

Your "friend", not you, sounds narcissitic. Only thinking of himself all the time. Is there anyway to get this person out of your life? You don't need to be grateful for helping him out time after time after time. You could be grateful that you are different than he is and that you care about others.

What else could you find in the situation to be grateful for? Maybe you don't have to live with him. Maybe you could be grateful that you have the manners to say no.

If you said no to him, even one time, you could be grateful for learning to say no. Just because someone asks, doesn't mean you have to give. Then you could also be grateful for taking care of yourself.

And, you don't have to start bring gratitude into your life in the toughest situation. Look for what is working in your life (you have friends, here), what beauty you see in the world around you, in you (for example, I believe you could be very grateful for your stick-to-it-ness and you keep reading and trying), in the good stuff that is in your life.

Start smaller. Start simple. Keep being your beautiful, open self.

Anno