I cared for my mother, who was in her 80's when she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. This was a kind of healing experience for me, since she had been quite abusive and unloving toward me all the time I was growing up, even well into my college days. My sister, two years younger, and who never received the extent of the abuse, was very antagonistic about my decision to care for her, not wanting to help. She finally came around, though, and we both treated Mom lovingly. I took much time off work, and when I couldn't be home, my sister, who doesn't work, came to help. Mom never acknowledged how she had treated me, and discussing it with her was out of the question, even before the illness. She was a very angry person, never showing love toward me, but I'm still glad I was able to care for her, and give her comfort during her last days.
Patty