starting new traditions

This Easter is going to be different. There was a time when everyone would go to Mom and Dad's for the big egg hunt and dinner. My how times have changed.

Mom has been gone 3 years and Easter just isn't the same without her.

I was talking with my brother about the good old days. We were discussing this Easter. He's now a grandfather. I told him it was his turn to start the family tradition at his house with his sons and new grandson.

Have you found your families changing as parents die and children either go to college, or get married?

My brother, sisters, and I now focus on our families and don't seem to get together as easily for the holidays. Are you finding this?

Dear Dotsie,

I find it hard to get together with my family other then funerals or weddings. I have my own traditions at Christmas and the kids all know that on the Saturday before Christmas that I will be having a gathering at my house for a family Christmas party. I also invite my brothers and sisters and their families. Last year I thought all of the siblings would be together, but no, a brother didn't show up. My grandkids know about Christmas at Grandma's house and I fill stockings with lots of goodies, and very little candy. Unfortunately, I have four grandsons in Germany and two grandkids in Germany, so no telling when I will have all 9 soon to be 11 grandkids together again. I make the most of the time that I have with my children and grandchildren. I miss them. We are going to Germany in September to see the kids there. Can't wait.

Sherri

Actually Dotsie and Sherri, I long for the old days when we all gathered at my Grandmothers house for Easter Ham and of course the egg hunt, Christmas dinners, in those days we celebrated everyones birthday too at their house. You'd make a snack and of course cake and ice cream. But then Grandma died and we kids all grew up and went away to school and/or married and moved away. My mom and brother are in Indiana, some aunts, uncles and cousins too. My 2 sisters are in Colorado with their families. My son and I are here and my other son, God knows where he is. We never see any of the relatives. I have a big Thanksgiving dinner at my house and my son has Christmas at his house. Times have changed and I personally don't like the changes. I truly had a blessed childhood and never really appreciated it until it was gone.

Dear Chatty,

I don't like the way we are all scattered either. I miss the family reunions that we use to have, and the times that we got together for family for Thanksgiving and Christmas. It was the only time that I was part of a normal family.

Sherri

I guess I'm a little more harsh about these things. It's the cycle every generation goes through. You may be missing the fact that you don't do things with your brothers and sisters anymore and your neices and nephews now have children of their own, but did you get together as often with your cousins once you moved out of your parent's home and had a family of your own?

Yes it's nice to sit and think about the "good old days," but I would rather enjoy the surrent holidays the best I can than sit and think about when it was "better."

My grandfather for the past two years has gone down with my Mom to see my brother for Easter. I know they both enjoy it. I haven't been able to go because it is the week right before my company's big Convention and I usually have major amounts of work to do before I go and can not get away. Thhey came back with some pretty good stories last year and I can't wait to hear what happens this year.

I forgot to mention that this will be the first major holiday that my husband and I ever spent just the two of us in seven years. We are always having to appease this person or that person for every holiday. His parents are away and we were just up at my folks last weekend and celebrated with them then. I honestly can't wait to enjoy the day with just him.

Candice,
I remember how I it was sometimes difficult to get together with my family on holidays after I moved away from home. But when my Dad died, I was glad I did it.
I understand wanting to be with just your mate on holidays too. It's a special time for just the two of you.
Now I love having parents and children and grandchildren at my house on holidays. Our mothers and our kids and grandkids will be here for food and Easter eggs on Sunday. I'm looking forward to it. I'm redecorating my Christmas tree as an Easter tree and making Easter baskets. I love this stuff.
Either way, I hope you have a wonderful holiday.
smile

I too, sit and think about how my holidays and family gatherings were different back in the day. But, I've always tried to remember the things that made it fun and memorable and 'go one step further' to enhance and make my kids and grandkids memories pleasant ones.

I get a kick out of listening to my daughters tell my grandson's "When we were young, this is what we did..." Its a blessing to know that they are remembering good times because I did something to make their holidays special.

Candice, perhaps this will start a new tradition for you and your husband.

I'll never forget the year our daughter arrived on Dec. 21st. from Korea. Our son got pneumonia on Christmas Eve. Because our daughter had her nights and days confused, and our son was sick we had to stay home that Christmas.

We liked it so much we haven't left home on Christmas day since. Our home is open to anyone that wants to visit, but it's one of the only days in the year where my husband or I don't jump in the car and so somewhere. It's so relaxing!

Hope your Easter was a good one.

Smile, I love your three generations spening time together!

Betty, I bet you just love hearing the old stories. When you were making those memories, I bet you never knew which ones would stick and become family stories. What fun.

One of the traditions that I started that I love to take credit for is Christmas Advent Chains. I had a poem about the days of December and when you reach 25, the golden chain, you get a special Christmas story and a big piece of candy.

Well, I started this when my girls were very young. When I was trying to make the THANKSGIVING turkey, they were always under way. I had them sit and write down all their friends in the neighborhood and cousins and let them make red and green chains up to 24. Then the 25th Chain was gold (yellow) and I put the poem on top. On the last day of November, we'd pass the chains out to all their friends and cousins. Everyone loved them and it kept the girls busy while I prepared Thanksgiving.

Today, my daughter uses this with her sons on Thanksgiving.