I recently found your website while looking for support/information during my divorce process. I appreciated reading the posted messages because it's good to know others are/have been in similar struggles and it made me stop feeling sorry for myself.

Here's my situation: I've been married for fifteen years and over time, my soon-2-b-x evolved from protective to overbearing to controlling. I have always earned more financially (but still considered us as equal) and I think that he tried to overcompensate for his insecurity by dictating every facet of my life. Sometimes it seemed like he would purposely shatter my self-esteem to make himself seem more important and worthy.

Realizing that I'd had enough I began divorce proceedings; he became totally irrational. Someone had posted that divorce comes down to money and property - mine certainly has. I work 60 hours a week, have a six figure income and still take care of the house and the kids. He works when he feels like it and brings in about $25k-in a good year! And no he isn't a stay-at-home dad because I pay for day care too for our 2 kids. I would love to think that he is contesting the divorce because he realizes that I'm such a wonderful, loving person but I know that it's because his gravy train is about to derail him. After supporting him for 15 years, he wants (and legally may be entitled to) alimony and/or child support. Do you think this is what women's rights had in mind?!?! Now he has stopped working altogether and refuses to move out of the house nor contribute to expenses. He is being uncooperative with the proceedings so that he can continue to live in the lap of luxury for as long as he can and try to manipulate/coerce me into stopping the divorce. He said that he will tear this family apart emotionally and financially if I continue with the divorce. He's trying to get everyone to feel sorry for him (including the kids) because his mean executive wife thinks she's gotten too good for him. I'm certainly blessed that I don't have financial worries like other divorcing women but it really hurts and frustrates me that I worked uncomplaining like a dog to provide for my family and not only am I being made to look like the bad guy but I may have to continue to support and pay my hard-earned money to this ungrateful leech.

The home environment is like psycological warfare. Unfortunately after 15years he knows my vulnerabilities and is ruthlessly manipulative. Legally there's no way to make him leave until the divorce is final and he may be able to drag it out for several months. For now I actually don't mind working so many hours. On the weekends the kids and I go anywhere just to avoid him.

Right now I'm coping but it's certainly tough. Thanks for letting me vent.