Lion, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your SIL, and for all the other losses endured by you and your family. And truly I am so sorry to everyone who experiences such profound loss. Eagle, thanks for what you said about Love and Light. I truly believe that love is the essence of us all, and in the end, all there is is love. The light is about being enLIGHTened to the LOVE. Eagle, the real gift in this Christmas season is the love that you are showing for your brother. We don't all get the opportunity to show/tell someone how much he/she means to us in our earthly journey. You and your brother are in the midst of an opportunity to give and receive love on earth. Too many of us let the moments on earth slip away, and when someone leaves this earth, we regret that we did not express to that person how much we cared. There is no wrapped present more worthwhile than the activities you are doing for and with YB. YH too is being able to give what is really real by being as supportive as possible. The VON gave YOU a gift by being there for your tears. Making one more phone call can be so overwhelming! The in-laws? You are not responsible for their happiness, or lack of. But the niece with the divorcing parents: she needs some tradition and security. There are so many of us who are facing the 1st or 2nd or 10th season without a parent; it's just the age range we are in with elderly parents. I feel so sad for my brother and his wife and his daughter facing the first Christmas without his son who died at age 17 Feb 2006. And survivor's guilt? How dare I enjoy this Christmas when my father, a brother, a sister, a close cousin, a nephew, grandparents, etc are no longer here? How dare I NOT? I am given the gift of being here to awake on that day for praise and celebration. I had always wanted a way to let my old grandmother know how much she meant to me. Each year, across the distance, I would send her gifts: a shawl, a robe, pjs, anything to keep her old bones warm. Then, 2 years ago, when she was 98, she got very sick. We thought she was ready to die. The family around her was going crazy caring for her. I flew from Missouri to Pennsylvania 2 times that summer to care for her, and offer the caretakers some relief. The hospital had discharged her to the care of the nursing home. But a bed was suddenly not available! So she had to be cared for at home. I spent 24/7 with her, looking into her eyes, saying I love you, helping her onto the porta-potty in her room (she was so sick the bathroom was too far) cleaning her vomit, tucking her in, just like she had for me when I was little. The last night at home before the nursing home room was finally ready, I slept not in the adjacent bedroom, but with her (she piled on 7 blankets in summer) I listened all night for her breath, literally waiting for the last one. We all thought she might not make it through the night to get to the nursing home. She thought she was going to the nursing home to die, we had to convince her she was going there to get better. Anyway, she made it through the night. While I was packing her suitcase the next morning, I came across the shawl, the robe, the pjs, still in their boxes, with the various post marks of the different states I had lived in at the time that I sent them, some with torn wrapping. She never even wore the gifts I sent her! She was too attached to her old things. But you know what? The real gift TO ME was not in the box. The gift was that I had prayed for a way to show my grandmother how much she meant to me before she died, and an opportunity was PRESENTed to me via caretaking. She celebrated her 100th birthday last August. And she knows, and I know she knows, how much I love her. So, may you all be gifted with presents that a box cannot contain. Love and Light, Lynn