Sugaree--it sounds like you're needing a break from your son.

I was the safe, available parent when my daughter was still reeling from her father's abandonment. I caught the anger, the acting-out from her, and I resented being the only responsible parent. Thoughts like "There are those genes again" played through my mind, too.

But those genes are just a part of who our kids are. The kids will make their own choices about the path they follow. Meanwhile--during this limbo of protracted adolescence (and I think that goes on from about 15 to 25 these days), we have to do the best we can to take care of ourselves and set boundaries.

I hope you can get the support you need to take care of yourself enough to say good riddance to the man who did this. Don't let him determine the course of your life.