It's easy for him to 'think' of him as the angel since his father's visits were mostly during the special days in his life; birthdays, Xmas, graduation... He is filled with happier memories. I feel guilty when he discusses how much fun he'd have with his father because I want to remind him about the other 300+ days where I was his primary care giver, even financially most of the time.

I guess if I ever arranged that statement and let it spew out of my angry mouth it would sound as though I'm trying to make him hate his angel or view him in a negative light. My son wouldn't recognize that he put me on the defensive end of our discussion, I'm sure.

My beloved ex and I had these type of conversations often. He stated that he couldn't or wouldn't feel comfortable being the disciplinarian since he was not around that much. I even told him that it was unfair that he left me looking like the villain. I was always the one saying 'no' to the car, passing out curfews, no to expensive shoes... Father would come along with those shoes or some bike I couldn't afford because of regular household expenses.

I guess you're right. It would be hard to be angry at an angle or find fault.