Well Deb you can hire a paralegal to do allthe paperwork correctly. My divorce could have been expensive with an Attorney so I hired a paralegal and it cost a third about $450.00. She did everything and it was so simple. For address safety you can either use a mail box address one where the address is legal for your drivers license and all legal papers or to safeguard your state safety use a friends address in another state. For instance you need to live in Vegas 6 weeks before you can file for divorce, so come here establish residency, use say my address and go home and in 6 weeks come back and file. Hire a paralegal. I'll let you know when and if you need to be here and when and whalla, divorce done. As far as the kids are concerned, as they grow older his faults will begin to appear to them and they will understand. You have to think of you, of your safety right now. Good luck and know nothing is impossible.