Unfortunately my son has returned to his old ways. He has burned his bridges with his Dad, can't go to his place and now mine. He left the treatment centre and is dragging his feet about going to another place. He just wants to sponge off me and get high. He was all set to go to another place but spent his welfare cheque (Shelter and food) on drugs. There is a bed for him but he can't have it now until the next welfare cheque on the 23rd of January. He has burned his bridges there too. I don't think he will go there either. It is a great facility that would be of help to him to more forward. Two nights ago I woke up to him doing drugs in my kitchen. It was 4am and he had the stove burner on high with two knives stuck in the burner heating up. I think they get the knives hot and burn the drugs and breath in the fumes. At least I think that is what they do. I couldn't believe it. I said, how dare you do drugs in my home, that is so disrespectful and your brother and sister are in the other room. The smell was like chemicals so I think it was Crystal Meth. Anyway my rule is no drugs in the house and no coming home stoned so told him to leave in the morning. He left. Today I came home and he was in my house. He broke in. I told him to leave and insisted as he just ignored me. Bad move, he yelled you Fu...n C..nt over and over.
He smashed my phone, another one (smashe one last week) and started kicking the door. I put his stuff outside and told him to go to his Dad's a friend whatever but not here.
He reverted to his old behaviour threatening me and said he was going to kill himself. Finally I talked him into going to his Dad's if I drove him. I kept hitting my car window, smashing his fist on the dash trying to do damage all the way there. When we got there he refused to get out of the car and said I had to ok it with his Dad or he wouldn't get out. His Dad was not home. I then told him I would drive him to his friends house, anywhere to get rid of him as he was raging. He refused to get out so I said I would drive to the police station and they could get him out. So he got really mad and finally got out at another friends but kicked my car and smashed the door on the way out. I have been having to deal with this type of behaviour for years now. He just did 18 months (got out in I year) and I gave him another chance. Let him stay here over Christmas but he continued to use so told him he had to leave. I am going to the police station today to file a no contact order so when he comes back the police will arrest him. I have to do this to stop the cycle no matter how hard. I can't beloved that we are back to where we were a year ago. He told me that he is going to kill himself tonight as he has no where to go. I told him that there are shelters and that he can work it out with his Dad or whatever but it is his choice. I told him I will not help him again as it doesn't work. It is time for him to help himself. Than I came home and cried and cried. I can't handle this anymore. No matter what I do he continues to just be a drug addict. I am going to call NA and start going to meetings. I think this will help. Just venting.
Kate