Kate, my heart aches for you but you are doing the right thing. This will never end if you let him back in, and you know that. As hard as it may be, you need to stick to your word or he will always know you will bail him out. In the long run, that only harms him.

I'm sure it's tough becasue as a mother you probably think that we should bail our children out. This case is different becasue he is not well. He needs help that you can no longer give him. Remind him that when he is drug/alcohol free you'll be able to show him all the love in the world, and right now, by turning him away, you are still showing him that love. It's just tough love!

How did you feel when he was in jail. Did you find peace in knowing he had a roof over his head and wasn't abusing? If so, and he won't get treatment, then perhaps it's the safest place for him right now. Please forgive me for saying this, but if he isn't in treatment and he doesn't have a place to live, and he has no money, then at least he's warm, fed, and has a roof over his head.

What do you think?

I'm lifting you, your son, and two younger children in prayer.