I wrote about my son in a post quite a while ago. He has been in jail now for just under a year. He gets out middle of November. My son was arrested for a couple of break and enters. He is/was a drug addict addicted to crack cocaine. He has been addicted to drugs heavily since age 15. I have two other children 13 and 14 (they are good kids), my eldest is 22. I am a single parent and have been divorced for 10 years.
Here is my problem. I kicked my son out of the house when he was 18. I did everything I could to help him but my other two were suffering from the chaos in our house. I was emotionally drained. I had to call the police many times (neighbors also called) because he was out of control and I could not reason with him. Off and on since he was 18 he kept coming home and would refuse to leave. I would give him more and more chances but he did not change. The year before last the police were constantly at my house taking him away. It was a horrible time. My two children at home were of course tramatized especially my youngest the 13 year old as he experienced abuse from my son. My eldest was abused by his Dad and had alot of anger and emotional issues that he dealt with by getting high instead of getting help.
When he gets out he wants to come to my house for a week to get ready for a treatment centre he is attending. He does not know where I live. Just before he got arrested the last time I moved and would not tell him where I was living on the advice of the police. My son says he needs to come home to get proper ID, he lost all his plus see a dentist (he is in need of two root canals) He says he will only be staying for a week and then will be going to the treatment centre in another city. My kids don't really want him to stay here. My daughter doesn't mind for a week but my son wants to stay with his father and I don't blame him. My eldest son has no where to go when he gets out. He can't stay with his Dad because his Dad has basically disowned him, and he doesn't want to. His friends are all drug addicts so he doesn't want to stay with them, too dangerous. He has done his time, says he has learned his lesson, wants to go to treatment and then go back to school. I don't want to tell him he can't stay here because he has had a really hard time in jail (was assaulted many times) and he should be given a chance. We all deserve another chance and I want to be supportive but not enabling which I was before. In the past he has said many times that he is going to change but when I let him come home, it would fall apart very quickly. I am at a loss as to what to do. I want to set some boundaries with my son before he gets out but don't want to treat him like I did before. After all it has been a year and he seems to have matured alot while in jail. I hope he has changed but if he hasn't and he won't leave my house when I want him to the situation could quickly turn into the way it was a year ago.
I believe that you should forgive and forget but.... If it was just me I would not be so concerned, but I have my other children to think about. If it were you, would you give him another chance? He says he is excited about treatment and getting out of jail and can't wait to start his life.
I'm really torn and could use some feedback.
thanks,
Katebc