Ann, you asked how formerly abused women feel now. I can emphatically state that I am not a victim any longer! I've been married to my second husband since 1988. I came to the marriage with a lot of fears and baggage. Having been a victim of DV in a first young marriage, and as a witness to it when I was a child, I really did not know how to conduct a relationship with respect and boundaries. But I had tons of therapy, including classes like "assertiveness training" and my now husband and I went to marriage counseling. He knows only a little about my first so-called marriage. (although I wrote a book about it, my husband has not read my book cover to cover) How I feel now is that my second husband has been a catalyst toward healing my wounds of the past by his ever present compassion & kindness. I feel as though I learned a lot about relationships, and yet I have a lot to learn. However, if anything should happen to my now husband, I know I would find it hard to trust another, even with all the empowerment, experience, and education I've had. Once burned...I have also released any shame regarding being a sexually abused child and a victim of domestic violence. The shame that I lived with day and night is a total goner, and I am filled instead with gratitude for who I am now and who I am becoming each day.