Anno, you have nothing to be ashamed of. We are the survivors, not the abusers. I am stronger today than I ever was while married to my abuser, and we were married for almost 25 years. The abuse was mental, verbal, sometimes physical, and I didn't realize it was abuse until I became educated. That gave me the strength to leave the relationship.

I don't consider myself a victim, but a survivor. Every chance I get I try to educate people (men and women) about what constitutes abuse, and it doesn't have to be battering or anything else physical.

I was ashamed, at first, to admit that I had been abused. Eventually I understood that I needn't be; I hadn't done anything wrong. Now, I can look back on that part of my life and thank my Creator that I had that experience because it made me who I am today. I am definitely stronger, more outspoken, and less fearful than I was then.

So, Anno, think of yourself as a survivor. I think there is a different mindset in being a survivor rather than a victim.