Of course, I think what Darlene was getting at was the Golden Rule thing. Am I as good a spouse to my husband as I'd want him to be to me? Do I do things that help him WANT to be married to me, as I'd hope he would do for me?

I think a lot of it has to do with putting ourselves in each others' shoes. Like, I know when my husband comes home after work, he's beat. He doesn't want a lot of hoo-ha and noise and commotion; he wants peace and quiet and a good dinner. So I try to give him that. (I save the hoo-ha for later!)

And he knows I need a sense of connectiveness, a catching up on each others' day, an exchange of ideas and thoughts and feelings. So even though he wasn't raised in a very verbal home, he's learned to listen to me and talk with me and share his life (AFTER the peace, quiet, and hot dinner, of course...).

We still have areas where we'll probably never completely meet each other's needs or wishes. I'll never be athletic. He'll never be interested in cleaning out the garage. (It could be FUN! Really!!) But I think, over the years, we HAVE tried to incorporate the Golden Rule thing. I think a lot of couples are wanting the other person to 'change', but don't look at what they themselves are doing to the relationship.