Hey Cathy, have you thought about writing this up as a film script, I hope this does not sound uncaring, but if it werent for all the emotion and hurt, this could make a great comedy, you know the Steve Martin sort of thing! I often think that of my own marriage and kid saga(s)! If it werent so sad it would be a great comedy, and the movies aint got nothing on real life!!
Seriously, sometimes it has helped me to think, in 10 or 20 years, what will matter?? you know, in 10 years does it matter if you had a big or a small shower, what will make the difference in the long run. Also, what about your relationship with your husband, I hope this stress is not putting strain on your relationship with your hubby.
whatever happens you are wished all the best