Chatty~It was my step-sons father-in-law who said those things NOT my step-sons father (now my ex-husband,we were separated at the time). If the ex had shown just a fraction of the class that my DDIL's father has we would probably still be married. My ex was just happy that he wasn't asked to pay for anything more than the rehersal dinner. (I paid for the flowers). Thank goodness he (my ex) doesn't have any daughters...he'd probably hand them $100 and tell them to elope!

Cathy, my heart goes out to you...this should be such a joyous time for you and your daughter. It is so difficult to stand by and watch as our adult children make choices that we do not understand or agree with. I think that you and your husband are doing the right thing, in that you have told your daughter what it is that you are able to spend on her wedding given your financial circumstances and the fact that you have other children at home. I have seen parents reluctantly go into debt to the tune of 20 or 30 thousand dollars only to have their childs marriage end in divorce. Follow your gut on this. Hang in there!