Oh dear! What a situation. And it sounds like a no-win, one of those "damned if you do, damned if you don't." But, it is also one of those situations that will pass. Bear that in mind.

Expection IS THE KEY WORD HERE. Since when do couples "expect" things such as money from relatives? I find that kind of behavior appalling, and I feel for your daughter. I don't think she truly understands that this is a FLAW in character, not something to be admired. There is a big difference between being assertive, and being abrasive. This young man needs to be taken outside behind the woodshed and introduced to Mr. Strap. It's really inexcusable to EXPECT anything from ANY body.

This is a choice the bride-to-be and the young man have made to spend their life together. The invited guest are just that...invited. Invited to witness the happy union, and to share in their joy of these two people, not take them to raise.

It is a sad state of affairs (forgive the pun) when they EXPECT. I just can't help but wonder that if he EXPECTS so much from people (some of whom I'm sure he doesn't even know) NOW, what unrealistic expectations will he place on your daughter day to day, his employer, his children?

I too am worried about your daughter. Now, and sadly...afterwards. I know you will do all you can to protect her and I would do the exact same thing. Good for you. But while doing that, please do not allow this bully to use emotional blackmail with you both. It's just not right. I am also worried about YOUR health, and that of your husbands. Please take care of yourself and if possible, distance yourself from the "goings-on" somehow and focus on something more relaxing, if for only a few minutes a day.