Could this be a different culture thing? A lot can get lost in translation when you can't understand what is being said. I'd find someone who speaks both languages well to interpret what exactly is being asked for.

Emotions run so high during weddings. I was complaining about my ex on this site last year when my son was getting married and his refusual or inability to help out. In the end, he paid for his half of the debts required.

My son and wife paid and planned their own wedding. One reason is both sides of the family live far away. But, everything was exactly how they wanted it and we gave them money as a gift to help with the costs and another gift for something they needed...air conditioning as they live in the desert and didn't have any!!!!

If you can't afford to pay for something like a cigar bar, tell them so or let the groom pay for it. It's his idea! If he wants to look good before his friends and family, he should be willing to pay for it.

As someone mentioned earlier, be careful that this doesn't create long lasting bad feelings. Do what you can or are willing to do and stick to your guns.

I feel for you!