Have your talk with your daughter soon. Try not to let anything else get in the way. The sooner the better. Otherwise, things will fester and get blown out of control.

My daughter got married last November and we and the "in-laws" worked everything out equally. We paid for the dress, the cake, flowers, etc. They paid for the reception, food, booze, honeymoon, etc. We got it all straightened out through my daughter. It was her wedding so all decisions went through her. But, we remained reasonable. And she understood this. She didn't make any outrageous requests in the middle of plans, and that made things go much smoother. So smooth, in fact, that I surprised her and her sister with a morning at the spa on her wedding day.

Don't let this woman run the wedding, because she'll be running your daughter's life afterward. And like was said, you'll come in second when it comes to holidays and such. Get everything out in the open with your daughter, let your feelings be known, but try not to make it all about you. That will just turn your daughter off and she might get angry with you.

I wish you much success and congratulations on the marriage of your daughter!