I am having some really horrible feelings and thoughts about my daughter's upcoming wedding and wouldn't mind other's perspective. She is marrying into a very "ethnic" family, shall we say? His Mom is very controlling and has her nose into everything. Last night they had an engagement party, which they chose to do themselves, because in my family, this is not normally done. His Mom came up to me at the party and because she speaks broken english, I am not exactly sure of what she was trying to say. But the jist of it was "you love your daughter, I love my son." and then went on to say we should surprise them. I thought she was talking about a shower. But she said no, the engagement. And from that point on, I was trying to understand what she was trying to say, but with great difficulty. But what I got was this - I think she was trying to say that we should pay for this engagement party that THEY chose to do. I was very taken back that she would even have the gall to ask such a thing. Now - we are not wealthy. We are the average american family. I also have 2 other children that will someday be married and I feel we should help out equally. We have told our daughter that we will give them a certain amount of money to help out with the wedding, but there is no way we can pay for the whole thing. These kids want alot and his family is very large. Our is not. I feel if they want all this extra stuff - then they can pay for it. - example - he is talking about having a cigar bar at the wedding. Alot has already happened that I am feeling very slighted about. When I was a bride, all gifts went to the brides house. Here they went to the groom's parents house. There has been talk about the shower. My daughter wants it in a hall with both sides together. But how am I gonna communicate with this woman. I am the brides Mom and I refuse to allow her to run the show.There are certain things that I wanted to do for my dau
ghter for her wedding and I feel it is all being taken away from me. I know this is long, but there is so much more to it...I am looking for some advise. Has anyone gone thru anything similar? Am I being unfair? Is this "stinkin thinkin? HELP!!! Thank You for listening!