I have been second fiddle to my sons family now for years and I am not thrilled by the idea. Once I called to say I was coming over to visit and my son said "mom we have friends over now and rather you wouldn't stop by." I always call before going there since then as he said " we have separate lives now mom." He was being sweet and honest but I have to tell you it cut to the quick, I was use to being everything to him and then I was a visitor. Granted a very special visiter to him but a visitor just the same in his busy life. Its not the best feeling either.
Sometimes I actually feel jealous in a way of my DIL and I love her dearly, that may sound sick but it isn't that kind of jealousy. I guess I just miss him not always being around me and feel kind of empty to not be a part of his everyday life.