I have found it to be the case of "once a mother, always a mother!" My son and my dear DIL had an argument a couple nights ago and my son showed up on my doorstep saying, "can I borrow the sofa tonight?" We talked for hours and the next morning we had breakfast together and it felt good but he had to go home and face the music later that day. All is well with them...He said, "I'm staying here tonight because I don't want her to accuse me or think I was out fooling around." He was angry but not stupid. I agree with susieq, it isn't easy but is liberating.