quote:
Originally posted by struggling2:
I wish I knew exactly how to forgive. There's no magic wand and there's no fairy dust. It's a process and I am much further down the road than I was a year ago but I still have a way to go.
Dear struggling, I want to welcome you with a big cyber hug and welcome. Above you will see a quote from your post. Here is my contribution reply. Please read it in its warmth.

If you are going to forgive your husband, why not sooner than later? Why do you need a process to do so? What is going to be different next week or next month or for that matter, next year. Why not decide to do (the inevitable) and forgive today. Unless you are not going to continue with this man, I think you owe it to yourself especially, to let go and channel your energy into mending all that is broken. Yes, time is a great healer but a mind is the greatest healer of all. Your mind...and how you use it. If your long term goal is to have your marriage back, maybe it is time you planned how to fix it, not keep it broken.
As I reread my post, I want to assure you, that my words are written with the most genuine concern for you and how you are feeling. It is just a suggestion. It just might be the answer you need to hear...and then maybe it's not.
Sometimes we have to take control of our feelings and make ourselves feel good (forgiving, happy, joyous) when we don't want to.
Let the love you have for this man break through.
Surprise him? No...surprise yourself.
I wish you Peace.
chick