VA not just from spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, etc. My grandmother will be 100 in August. When I went "home" 3 weeks ago for my nephew's death, my grandmother, his great grandmother, had declined mentally since the last time I saw her nearly 2 years ago. She still lives at home, but has night nurses. Since I was there, in her home, she cancelled the nurses for the week. I was up at least 3 times a night with her, most personal of care in the wee hours. Anyway, she's downright mean & VA. Her 100th birthday bash is coming up, & I'm reluctant to go "home" again to get the brunt of her VA. Perhaps if I don't have to care for her I won't have to experience the VA. It's a bittersweet decision: to get to care for her in her old age & return the favor of care is a gift, but to hear the mean things she has to say is hurtful. She can't hear a thing, but she heard me sigh while she was peeing in the middle of the night. I was thinking of the upcoming funeral mass the next morning. Her response to my sigh that she happened to miraculously suddenly hear? "If you don't like it here go stay in a motel." OMG, the sigh 1) had nothing to do with her 2) was in the middle of the night 3) was an expression of extreme sadness. Christina, thanks for the link. Love & Light, Lynn

[ February 25, 2006, 10:32 PM: Message edited by: Lynnie ]