Well, well, well, when people try to be polite and tell me that "you wouldn't be who you are today if you hadn't experienced what you experienced" I say "I'd like to see who I might have become if I had NOT experienced what I experienced. It's not easy being me." Dianne, it is great that your granddaughter has you to talk to! Today when I was driving I was thinking about how stupid I was to have married an abusive man was I was 19. Then I passed a broke down car. You know what? I was a broke down girl trying to get to adulthood. How could I get to my destination of adulthood with my parts all broken down? Norma, of course what you wrote is relevant. My brother, who molested me, was sexually abused, only he does not remember it. He lives a joy less life. My memory is a blessing and a curse. At least by remembering I can know what I need to heal from, and thus eventually find joy.