Lynnie and Smile, I was healed, but unfortunately my X wasn't. He still has rage and beats his wife (on occassion, which is WRONG). He beat, choked, threw things at me, etc. EVERY DAY, sometimes twice or three times a day for those years.
He told me this:

I was afraid that if you spoke to anyone,I would lose you. I had to keep you for myself.

You were a strong woman and if I kept you down, you would stay. I told you all those horrible things so you would believe them.

You were beautiful and I hated anyone else looking at you. You were mine and mine alone.I was sooo jealous when my friends said anything good about you.I didn't trust anyone.

If you looked at anyone else, I was afraid that you wanted them and not me.

I was young and stupid, young and stupid. I was always afraid that you would leave me so I did everything to make you stay. (he explained this in the sense of knowing it was wrong, but didn't know the difference back then)

I had low self estem and felt closed in with a lot of responsibility, than I tried to handle, but didn't know how.

I want to add this: When I spoke about certain instances, my X had no recollection and replied, "I did that?"

The conversation lasted over 3 hours(obviously too much to post here) with an "I'm sorry, I will always love you and I'll never marry again." I told him the same.

I told him to treat his girlfriend right and never hurt her.

I called her the next day(I didn't mention my X and I talking the previous day) and told her,"If you ever need someone to talk to, call me" She did...but thats another story.

This feels like a flusing of the soul girls, hope I'm not boring anyone.
chick