i have a better idea for marriage encounters...

take a few couples who think of themselves as happily married. put them on a farm/ranch and make them work cattle and work a crop together. it usually goes like this...

"OK honey, you stand at that gate, and i'll move them toward you. you let the heifers through the gate and turn the bulls back."

"that's alright, babe, it was only one. let's try again. i'll wave my right arm when you need to open the gate, my left means close it"

"now, darling, you have to get this right. this is my left arm, this is my right. now, one more time, ok?"

"son of a b....! can't you see? what are you doing? don't you know what a bull looks like? get with the program!"

when "honey" becomes "son of a b....", she holds up thumb and forefinger, barely separated by an eighth of an inch of air and replies, "you are THIS CLOSE to doing this alone!" a wise man will start back at "honey" again. the fool will be working alone!

the next task at hand will be backing a truck full of grain so as to release the grain through the end-gate into the auger that will take it to the top of the bin for storage. this is where hand signals are handy. men don't seem to realize that the signal for back has to look different from that for forward, left is not left if it is given a circular motion and right is not right if the hand moves up and down convulsively. a wise man will patiently use proper hand signals and lots of sugar. the fool will look like a mad dog swatting flies!

another test of hand signals is hitching the anhydrous fertilizer tank to a pickup truck for transport and refill. a wise man will accomplish this move in seconds and happily wave while his woman pulls away toward the station. a fool will be looking like a mad dog swatting flies while hopping on one foot and sucking his injured thumb as she pulls away!

anyone ready to sign up?!

[ January 29, 2006, 03:43 AM: Message edited by: flipperjo ]