Number5, I hope you're still reading even if you aren't responding right now. You have such a heavy load and so much stress - it's easy to see why you are defensive when it comes to your daughter. I read all of this last night and have been thinking about it since.

I've tried to put myself in your place to figure out what I'd do, but I can't. I agree that having that little girl put into a foster home is unthinkable unless there is absolutely no other way. Being forced to choose who comes first between your husband and your daughter and granddaughter is unreasonable. All three of them are important.

The most important person right now, in my opinion, is you. If you aren't ok, none of them will be, either. I'm not sure any of us can tell you what is best or what is right; so I'd like to say you should think about what would make you feel best and work from there.

Don't feel you're being selfish if you put yourself first in this situation; I feel it is the most generous thing you could do because you will be giving the best of yourself to your granddaughter, your daughter and your husband. They will respect you for the loving and intelligent woman you are.