Number5...everyone here has an opinion...it is not the opinion of all. Not everything that is mentioned will work for you, some is helpful some not.
If, you didn't love your daughter or granddaughter you wouldn't be here sharing your heart with all of us. Each and everyone one of my children have made choices I didn't agree with, but, I always stood close by to help in any manner I could.
It's just about all you can do...stand by in case they need a hand for support. Absolutely nothing is stronger than a mama's love, or her ability to support that love.
Sounds from what I'm reading, you decided to rent an apartment and have your daughter and granddaughter with you. Not sure I wouldn't do the same thing. You love them both much, and it shows.
What ever you decide...it will be the right thing.

Really too bad your husband isn't more loving and understanding, but... your seeing the "real" person now. Not a pretty sight.

Like you I do not believe, foster care to be the answer. Too much love within your heart for that.

I have found a lot of support here, some I agree with...some not. Take what you can use and leave the rest. Don't take your self away because you don't agree with all.
Just take what information you can use and leave the rest.
Everyone is just trying to help in their own way.
My thoughts and prayers, have been with you.