Number5, you state you have never lived alone and are afraid of it. Sometimes this is why the known evil is chosen over the unknown, even if you have very good reason to believe that the unknown HAS to be better.

Move. Don't be afraid, because the strength is inside you. You'll be surprised how strong you are once you give yourself permission.

Move. Your daughter may screw up, but she needs to learn how to take care of herself. She's an adult. As long as you let her jerk your strings, she'll do it. Also let her know that you'd be happy to take your granddaughter whenever the burden gets too much for her. My guess is, when she's 100% in charge of your granddaughter, without you coming in to pick up the pieces of her mess every single time, she may learn responsibility -- or at the very least, realize that she isn't mature enough to handle it, and relinquish the child to you.

Do you have any trusted friends? Your daughter may call the authorities if you "steal" your granddaughter, but if you had someone to watch for you, you can call child authorities to complain of her neglect. As a matter of fact, you should do it now, before you leave. Write down everything she's screwing up, because she seems unfit to be a parent.

Your daughter and husband will learn how to fend for themselves. You need to do the same. As long as you stay, the cycle of abuse will continue.

Move. You are strong enough. We will all send our love and prayers, and hold you up in our virtual arms.

May the Universe bless and protect you.