Numbers5, I feel that you want to that which is best, especially for the grandaughter. Not only do you want your grandaughter to have a fulfilling life, you do not want her to make the same mistakes her mother (your daughter) made.

Whilst at the same time, you have a great deal of love for your husband and daughter, both of whom place heavy demands upon your shoulders and it appears that neither returns the favor.

Tough love, we've all heard that, your daughter needs to grow up! It is unfair that your husband expects you to work full-time and then assist him with the apartment complex. He must have some other means of support (either through the post office or a retirement?). Why must you work two jobs and support your daughter?

This is a decision with consequences, and unfortunately regardless of which decision you make, even though you are in the right, they will blame you for their inadequacies or shortcomings. Do not be a scapegoat.

Preferably, I would take the daughter, granddaughter and move to NE where you've stated a job is awaiting you. If you do this, please ensure to set ground rules for the daughter. Perhaps her brother can locate a shelter that has counseling (group counseling is good b/c she can learn from others). She needs job skills and perhaps begin taking a course at the local tech school. She can (needs) look into any public assistance involving education, groceries, employment, etc.

I'm praying that God will help with the decision, too. It's difficult to say "give it to the Lord," but sometimes we must!