Both my daughter and my husband use the same tac with me. If I tell either of them that I can't do something they want me to do like if I said, "I don't want to live in the apartment with you and run the complex, I want to live with my daughter and grandaughter and help support them", he said, "Well, I'll just call so and so and just tell them I can't manage the apartment complex for them and you go your way and I'll go mine and I'll just get myself an apartment somewhere and miss out on all the benefits this opportunity will allow", or "I'll just continue to work my tired crippled ass off at the postoffice and be in pain every day until I drop dead or retire." Well, he knows that neither of these options are pleasing to someone who loves them. Its like saying, "If I can't be boss, I'll just go play in the street."
My daughter does the same thing. If I indicate to her that I'm not going to do something she wants from me, she says, "Well, me and A (her daughter) will just go stay with so and so" who of course, is totally unacceptable to me and not a good or healthy environment for my grandaughter to be in. They both know I will buckle and it is emotional blackmail and I know it but am unwilling to suffer the consequences of the outcome.
Remember the story in the Bible about the two women who both claimed to be the mother of the infant child. Both mothers came to Solomon who was acting as judge. He said to the women, "Well, bring me a saw and we'll just cut the child into and give one half to each mother upon which the REAL mother said, "No, its her child, I was just lieing. The child belongs to her. Let her have it. Sometimes choices aren't easy and we make them out of love and fear.