Brenda, I don't have official stats to back myself up here, but I am CONVINCED that when a parent commits suicide, at least one of the children in the family will follow (or try to follow) suit. I've heard and seen the connection too many times. So much so that there have been two separate instances in my recent past when a mother has shared with me about struggling with suicidal thoughts. I asked each one point blank, "do you know that if you do this, take your own life, that one of your children WILL do the same thing, if not right away, then probably when they reach the same age that you are when you kill yourself?" They were both shocked at that, and after talking about it at length, the fear of one of their children doing the same thing was enough to make them NOT DO IT, and seek help.

How old was your father when he committed suicide? And how old were you when you first started thinking about it? And how old was your son when he first started? Is there an age connection? Maybe not, but I'm willing to bet that you're all struggling against that family history. We already know that there is definitely a genetic predisposition to depression. I believe that there's also a predisposition to suicide, perhaps not so much genetic, but through some strange medically-indiscernable linkage.

I also believe that this generational chain of suicide can be broken...but only when one of you deliberately STOPS the chain reaction of suicide and wholeheartedly commits to choosing life once and for all.

Again, I'm no expert, I have no stats or medical background to support my opinion, and you know that I know it's not easy. But I am convinced that knowing about the "generational chain reaction connection" is a vital clue and key to conquering these suicidal tendencies. You're not only fighting the disease itself, you're also fighting family history and generations worth of the disease...but once you realize that, half the battle is already won.

Addendum: Brenda, if I recall correctly (and forgive me if I'm not), you have expressed some measure of spirituality, so I'm going to add this little note: I also believe that this is exactly the kind of situation where we can ask God to heal our family history...to heal the damage done by generations past, to heal the wounds that their suicides have left behind in their children and children's children. We ask God to come into OUR lives, and into all the lives impacted by these ancestral actions, and heal and RE-CREATE our hearts and minds for LIFE, because we've been so focused on death for so long (perhaps generations).

This doesn't mean instant healing. But I firmly believe God answers that prayer with great joy and creativity.

[ September 28, 2005, 12:16 AM: Message edited by: Eagle Heart ]