Okay girls, don't encourage her. JJ is OUT of CONTROL!

She's wearing that crown speeding around the neighborhood on that souped up riding lawnmower her old boyfriend dumped here and I'm having to hold on for dear life. She's causing a terrible ruckus. She's throwing kisses and autographing books and strutting around like Miss America. I'm tellin' ya' this woman is OUT of CONTROL!

And with the temperature in the nineties I'm one HOT DOG!

For Pete's sake, somebody SAVE ME!!

TRIXIE